Il Buono, Il Brutto, Il Cattivo.

The Good, The Bad and The (downright) Ugly. That's the (in)direct English translation of the Italian title to this blog as most of you know or have guessed. I say (in)direct because my friends Brutto and Cattivo present a problem. See, Brutto means Bad. Cattivo means Bad too. But then Brutto means Ugly, when used in certain ways, like when you're looking at Quasimodo. So the issue is, why then do the Italians say it in that order? Il Buono, Il Brutto, Il Cattivo? I don't know. That's because despite my last few sentences, I don't speak Italian. My father spoke it, but I never heard him speak Not to my recollection anyway. But that matter's for another day....

So this is my first blog. Technically, that is. I once had a Sony Ericsson that came with a Blogger for the owner, so I accidentally published something to my (unknown to me at the time) blog. Full marks if you can guess what it was. No? It was a nude, Michaelangelo's Davidesque photo of me. I even named it Adonis. How vain of me, for little did I know that the universe would deal my hubris a blow by making the same blog undiscoverable to me, even when using the omniscient Google. This was, of course, after I had lost said phone. Ergo, there is a picture of me out there in cyberspace, a picture of me with my hand barely covering my pubes...

Sorry folks, I'm prone to ranting. And I sorta give away information that I don't need to, as evidenced by my last paragraph. I hope that someone sane finds that blog though, and gives me the link so i can obliterate it. No use in some perv wanking off to me, or the picture popping up when I'm the chairman of some Fortune 500 company... sorry, ranting again. So this is my first, real, technically real and first blog. Point made.

IL CATTIVO
So I'm sleepless tonight. Not giving away my location, so I don't cause reflexive corny thoughts in your heads like 'oooh, Sleepless in Seattle.' Neither am I in Seattle. Where was I? Ah, il cattivo. The Bad. Its bad 'cos I gotta be somewhere tomorrow morning, looking fresh and not like Johnny Depp in Sweeny Todd, and its bad  'cos there's a power outage and it is as hot as the lake of brimstone here. Even more cattivo, there are friggin' mosquitoes. A whole legion of them, like Nature's drones sent to wreak biowarfare (after all they spread diseases) on poor me. Its bad 'cos some infernal wailing is coming from the neighbour's place, and the sound is obviously the product of conjugal activity....

I will not lie, I've kinda run out of things to put down on my cattivo list. Unbelievable. To think that I was so angry at my lot a few mintes ago, planning to come and get vitriolic on this mutha' and then....this. Its classic me, unable to remain angry. Some people say its noble and endearing, but I wish I could remain angry for a while. Some ugly ish has been done to me, and my anger passed like it was trying to break a land speed record. Zip. Nothing. So I'm gonna try to stoke any anger inside me, by recalling the brutto stuff that I have gone through, so I can come back all stoked and angry again.

IL BRUTTO
Shit, my battery's out.

Can y'all be so kind as to check out Part II of this er....discourse? I can't believe I'm being this apologetic...